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Life Cards…

365 Daily Prompts – Today’s is: What did I think my life would look like when I was 16? Did my life turn out that way? Is it good?


The truth is, I was very naive at 16. And I had a lot of personal bad things going on in my life at that time. So, I always envisioned being away and having my grown up life. I wanted the fairytale. Turns out, that wasn’t really in the cards for me either. As a 16 year old me,  I was full of hope that I would grow up and find a man that loved me and wanted to have children. Also, that this man would want to provide for me and allow me to stay at home mum. I wanted to have a huge garden and a big farm house. I wanted horses and chickens. I wanted to live a quiet and quaint life in the country somewhere. 

Now, skip ahead a few years, I am now 31. I have a husband and one child. I also have a boyfriend. (For those of you who haven’t followed me, I have an open marriage and both men know about one another and are friends.) However, my life didn’t quite end up the way I wanted or expected it to.

I do not have a car of my own, a house of my own or even an apartment of my own. I am 31 and have nothing to show for myself, aside for being a mother which is the most precious gift I have ever been given. Though, I do want more children. I just don’t know if that is in the cards for me either. I do not have a farm or animals that I wanted. And I live in the horrid city. I never have liked that.

So, is it good? Well, some parts yes, but the life part not so much. I mean where I live who I live with… I want to be with my own little family on our own. I want to be in the country away from city life. But my family part it is good. I love my son, husband and boyfriend very much. And they love me… so maybe I don’t have it so bad.

Thanks for reading….


Tell me your answer to this question down below in a comment.

 

Reaction to the Crisis…

My personal reactions to crisis’.

365 Daily Prompts – today’s is: Evaluate honestly how you react in a crisis and do you like how you act?

Hmm, if I had to accurately and honestly tell you how I act in a crisis it would be simple. If it is serious like someone chopped their finger off or something of that nature, I panic. I unfortunately lose my shit altogether. Injuries make me nervous and freak out. But if it is a mental or emotional crisis, I am acceptable. Still not quite up to par, but I am okay. If it is dealing with someone else’s I am extremely adequate. I can assess the situation and calmly help the other person through it.

Now,  when it comes to my own I tend to be a little more all over the place. I don’t lose my shit, but I over react. I blow things out of portion and get extremely upset or agitated depending on the scenario.

No, I do not like how I react in either case. The only thing I do like is that I could usually help others with a calm and collective way of looking at things. But as for my own personal crisis’, NO… I do NOT. I wish I could be different.

Tell me about your experiences in a crisis… how did you react?

Thanks for reading…

Toot My Horn…

What I like about myself…

So, I found these 365 daily topics to write about and for today’s topic it has describe one or more things that you like about yourself.

I have a few things I like about myself.

  1. My compassion
  2. My understanding
  3. My eyes
  4. My nose
  5. My feet
  6. My creativity

My compassion and understanding go hand in hand, they are both very important qualities to me. They are important for me to have and for those around me to have.

My eyes are pretty. I have green eyes. I also have piercing eyes, so I’ve been told. Anyway, I like them.

My nose, it is cute and like a button. It is small and very well portioned. I like it, too.

My feet, well, I have a tattoo on my left foot that is of my son’s birth foot prints. It has his name and a little owl on it because we call him Little Owl. So, the art on my foot is important and beautiful to me. But my feet are nice to look at. I don’t have small feet but they aren’t abnormally large either. They are slender though. I just like my feet.

My creativity is a big thing for me. I am a writer and a poet. I am also a blogger. I like to express myself through words. I also like to write fantasy and erotica. I am dark poet. But aside from writing I also like to sing and that too is creative. I like to paint as well. And do any arts and crafts that I can with my son. Even my religion is a creative extension of myself.

Toot your horn! Tell me in the comments what you like about YOURSELF! (:

Thanks for reading…

Marathon Life?

Response to Marathon, the Daily Prompt word by The Daily Post.

Marathon, hmm, what do I think of when I think about marathon? Well, the thing is I don’t run or walk or cycle, therefore, I do not take part in the marathon sport. But if you want to look at it with perspective, then I would say that life is a marathon. Maybe you have heard others site this as a reference for their life. Well, it absolutely applies to mine.

Everything that has ever happened in my life or with my life has been a process, if you will. It has never been a quick and speedy thing. So, I would equate my life to a marathon rather than its counterpart a sprint.

I work hard for my life. I work hard to make sure I make a good life for my son. Everything is taking so much time though.

I thought by now I’d have a car of my own and a house of my own. Hell, at this point I would be happy with just an 2 or 3 bedroom apartment of my own.

The world is full of tasks you can sprint at, but when it comes to your life and the things that make you happy… this is unlikely the process you will be taking.

Marathon is slow and steady but it works. Eventually.

 

 

 

 

In response to The Daily Post Daily Prompt word: Marathon

The Way It All WENT DOWN…

How my trip went on the east coast and the things that transpired when I returned to Ca.

It has been a while, I got back I think on December 20th. I know it was super close to Christmas Day. I just haven’t had time to really do much blogging.

My trip went surprisingly well and it was super fast and slow all at the same time. I left KY to go to WV. I spent almost a week there with my Dad and family there. It was nice but hectic. I got to see my other sister and her baby boy. He is just too damn cute. Spent time with my family, all the kids’ kids. I mean my babies are having babies now. I spent time with my Aunts and Uncles. My Uncle gave me a bunch of knives because I collect them. Dad gave me his bow and a knife. I didn’t get to bring the bow cause I didn’t have room in the truck.

Then from WV, I went to VA. I didn’t see as many people there as I would have liked to have seen. A lot of my friends were busy and I missed them. But I got to see my grandparents and I got to see my friend from school. And I got to meet her husband and kids. That was neat, they took me to dinner and hung out with me. It was nice. I helped my grandparents as much as I could. I loved spending time with my Gramma and Pappy. I spent about a week there with them as well.

So, by this time, I spent about 3 weeks on the east coast. However, I wound up going back to KY because I didn’t have a ride from VA to meet up with my boyfriend (the trucker) to go home. And my sister came to my rescue. She came got me from VA and we went back to KY. Then, by the time I got there my boyfriend was having issues with his truck and the weather had gotten bad, so I was there for about 2 weeks. I also contracted strep throat while I was there this time. I had to go to the hospital and be treated. It was bad. I finally got over the sickness and left to come back to California.

I must say, once I got here I was sad. Aside from seeing my son and husband and boyfriend… I didn’t really want to be back. I don’t like CA. I never have. I miss KY now, in fact. My mum welcomed me home with a big hug and I didn’t think she was gonna let go. My son was asleep and thought I was a dream. Hubby didn’t make much of a fuss but he was happy to see me too. When I got in the truck on the way out to CA, my boyfriend was quite happy to see me.

So, it has almost been a month since I’ve been back. And the better part of that time, I was laid up in the bed with the FLU! I mean the nasty flu… high high fevers, and hallucinations. It was bad. I still have a cough but I am symptom free otherwise. I feel much better.

I, now, have an interview tomorrow for a temp agency for Data Entry work. I hope I can get the position. I just need to pad the income for a little bit. Things are tight and if I am going to be moving to KY I need the cash. But it is looking more and more like it will be next year before I get to do that. *sighs*

I was really hoping to move at tax time this year but doesn’t seem like I will be able unless some miracle happens. Who knows? I will try and stay positive.

 

Thanks for reading! ❤

In the house…

I made it to my little sister’s house. She lives in KY but it is a hop-skip=and-a-jump to Tennessee. So, I was dropped off in Tennessee and she came to pick me up. I have been here for a day. It is nice to be around her and be able to actually hug her and see her kids. They are so smart and fun. I have really enjoyed being here so far.

Unfortunately, one her dogs go sick. We think she may have  Parvo. If it isn’t Parvo; it could possibly be nicotine poisoning from her eating a pack of cigarettes. But it is looking a lot like Parvo now because she has blood in her stool. I feel terrible for Toby and Cole, they love this little puppy so much. She is a big dog but she is still a puppy.  She is Toby’s dog and he is sad. But Cole says she will be brokenhearted if she dies too.

I am not sure what to do for them. I have had multiple puppies with the virus, some lived through with a lot of care and time from me and our family, but some didn’t. The virus just claimed them. It is hard to decipher when it is enough and just let them go. They get so sick before they even show any signs of getting better. When ours had it we had or syringe water into their mouths every 30 minutes and when they could hold that down we would give them this paste stuff we would make them to eat. Those that could get through it, would survive because of that.

It is tough to watch a pitiful dog go through this.

On another note, I haven’t been about to sleep like a normal human  being in a while. I am eating better since I got here. While I was over the road I didn’t do much of that. In fact, I didn’t eat anything for 2 days. But I have had plenty to eat since I got here.

I miss my son so much. It is really hard for me to be away from him like this. I know he is okay. I know he is well taken care for but I am spazzing out. It comes and goes in spurts. One minute I’m okay. The next I’m not. I am crying wish I could just hold my boy.

I love him and miss him SO MUCH.

I miss my husband and boyfriend too. I wish I could have them all here with me too.

Anyway, that’s enough for tonight. I will continue to blog when I can. The next few weeks are going to be crazy.

 And again, thanks for reading.